Frank T Bird

About the Substack

The Wind in the Willows but with more shagging. I publish twice a week unless I'm out the back getting pumped by the landlord for rent.

Free Subscription Benefits

  • 30ml (Approx 1 fluid ounce for you Americans) of my literary spunk

Paid Subcription Benefits

  • The whole rest of the chamber.
  • Listen to my podcast if I ever start it.
  • Rainbow reacharounds from my Uncle Jack with the tiny hands.

Paid Subscription Plans

  • $59.99 a year
  • $5.99 a month

About Frank T Bird

Am I supposed to tell you what I've done n that? What's the point? We'll all be dead soon, you fucking badger fanciers.

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